Radical Family
Trailblazing Lesbian Moms Tell Their Stories
By Margaret Mooney
A powerful collection of personal essays from lesbian moms who fought for the right to raise children
For generations, lesbians across the United States were systematically denied opportunities to raise children and build families, opportunities that were readily available to heterosexuals. Radical Family honors the history-making struggles and triumphs of lesbian families in Madison, Wisconsin, who raised children in the 1980s, ’90s, and early 2000s—a time when lesbian motherhood was widely considered extreme and unnatural. In a collection of nine profoundly personal essays, the contributors recount their diverse paths to parenthood, as well as the hopes and challenges each family experienced. While the stories in Radical Family are unique, they all share a common thread: the mothers’ resilience and the risks they took, both small and sweeping, to defend their family’s right to exist.
For lesbians, the desire to raise children has historically been met with vilification and legal and social prejudice. Adoption agencies consistently rejected applications from out lesbians. Doctors and clinics refused to provide fertility treatments and other medical options to help them get pregnant. Lesbians who were able to raise children commonly lost custody to estranged spouses or grandparents.
Trailblazing lesbian mothers—and their children—fought to defy and, ultimately, shift this paradigm. Lesbian parents, like those in Radical Family, created informal networks in their local communities, where they could share survival strategies and find acceptance among other families that looked like theirs. With no rule book to guide them, and few laws to protect them, lesbian mothers created a new—some might even say radical—standard for what it means to be a family.
Over and over, the stories in Radical Family show how families fought back against hatred and homophobia with love, resilience, commitment, and creativity. Their stories deepen our understanding of what it means to be a mother—while showing how safety, belonging, and acceptance are universal human needs.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
AN INTERVIEW WITH MARGARET MOONEY
Can you tell us how this book idea came about and how you encouraged the contributors to tell their stories?
On more than one occasion I have listened to close friends recount unique experiences of lesbian parenting and thought to myself that we should capture these stories. Now that I’m older and our kids are adults the time seemed right to try. So, in 2021, during concerns around COVID, my partner and I hosted a group of lesbian moms for a pizza dinner in our backyard and invited everyone to participate in this project. We took turns introducing ourselves and sharing our parenting stories. Each had different circumstances, backgrounds, and careers. Our common denominator was that we were all determined to have children despite the lack of social safety nets for our families and the all-too-often blatant discrimination against same-sex couples. We set up a few guidelines and deadlines and I proceeded to shepherd the project over the next few years.
Stories like those shared in Radical Family are vital in helping to build understanding and empathy for families different from our own. Why is it important that the book be published now?
All of the authors are older, so the timing of this collection was critical. One author has already died since the project’s inception. We’re proud to tell our stories and grateful for publication while the rest of us are still on this planet and able to celebrate our successes.
Many of the book’s contributors have been trailblazers for LGBTQ+ rights in Wisconsin and across the country for decades. How does that shared history of activism enhance the stories in the book?
Tales about underdogs and how they overcome challenges are timeless. Anyone who has been discouraged around pursuing a dream can relate to the stories in this book.
Readers may come to this book believing that lesbian mothers raising families today do not face the same hardships as those from eras past. In what ways do you see Radical Family as a history and as a guide for lesbians raising children today?
Our narratives took place in the days before same-sex couples were afforded legal rights and when our children were denied basic social safety nets. Fortunately, the legal landscape has changed but prejudices and discrimination persist. So lesbian moms still need to be on their guard while raising our precious children.
What do you hope readers will take away from this book?
Inspiration, kindness, courage, and love. Everyone everywhere just wants to be happy and live their lives. Let’s be kind to each other.