Most people avoid conflict. But when it comes to your nonprofit organization, the cost of avoiding conflict is too high — time is wasted, and bad behavior drives good people away. If a conflict gets out of control, your organization may flounder or even fold.

An important first step in managing conflict is to recognize conflict as a natural part of your organization's development. This acceptance will help you to deal with the interpersonal problems that are holding your group back.

The Basics of Managing Conflicts

Your board chair should look out for seeds of discontent before they develop into real conflicts. If a normally outspoken board member sits quietly throughout an important conversation, the chair should attempt to coax out insights. By the end of each meeting, everyone should be generally on the same page with the information shared and discussed. Often, information can be interpreted differently by each person involved.

When a conflict does erupt, your organization's staff and board members can take some measures to turn the bad situation around, regardless of the reason for the conflict. Experts in organizational management and conflict resolution generally recommend that nonprofit organizations manage conflict by taking these two basic actions:

• Handle small conflicts in your organization immediately before they get out of control and turn into big conflicts
• Establish conflict-mediating systems within your bylaws and committee structures

More Tips for Managing Conflicts

Beyond the above basics, experts offer the following additional tips for managing conflicts in a nonprofit organization.

Be aware of the role you are playing in the dynamic. Try to recognize your own biases and unintentional antagonism. This can be difficult, but you may significantly reduce the amount of time needed to resolve your conflict. A little humility goes a long way in a difficult conversation.

Step back and consider — don't react immediately. In a few cases, you'll witness a conflict that seems to come from nowhere. More often, conflicts within your group will be rooted in an issue much larger than someone's bad day. If some board members are chronically frustrated and a few frequently bicker, consider the source and the issue instead of dismissing the problem as personality-based. Once you've established the source of the issue, bring it out in the open and address the problem.

Don't take sides. If you are caught in the middle of a disagreement, try not to take sides. The act of taking sides usually polarizes and escalates conflicts, ultimately making them harder to resolve. Don't tell yourself that a conflict is "not my problem." A conflict in your organization is a problem for everyone.

Tap the right person to lead the resolution. Your board chair should handle most problems within your organization. If the problem is with your board chair, your board should consider tapping a respected friend of the organization or a trusted immediate past chair to help resolve the problem. Most experts recommend minimal behind-the-scenes meetings, which suggest exclusion and can cause their own conflicts.

• Depending on the nature and scope of the problem, your board chair should facilitate a discrete, respectful, one-on-one conversation between the few parties involved in the conflict
• If the conflict results from an isolated incident, such as an inappropriate remark made during a board meeting, the board chair should tell all attendees that the issue was dealt with satisfactorily.
• If the conflict is ongoing, such as a clearly antagonistic relationship between a member or members of the board and the executive director, the board chair should work to resolve the problem with the whole group. This may involve creating an ad hoc committee to evaluate the root causes of the conflict. Whatever the cause, the conflict should be handled openly.

Celebrate all resolutions to conflicts, no matter how small. Often, resolving an unpleasant situation goes without recognition. Many would like to leave the negative feelings behind and move on once a problem is resolved. But ignoring the incident misses a great opportunity to celebrate your group's ability to solve important problems. Ending a disagreement with a round of drinks after a cathartic board meeting can add closure and good feelings. Someone should say, "I'm proud of us."

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